Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

When Transformers came out in 2007, I said it was one of the great summer blockbuster spectacles, a statement I stand by. The epic sense of awe and wonderment, coupled with eye-popping special effects and breathless combat scenes made for some grand entertainment. Yes, it was dumb as dirt, and yes it had some moments I found to be racially insensitive, but overall I was very entertained. The one thing I hoped for from a sequel was more screen time for my favorite OG Transformer, Starscream. So two years later, as I sat through the sequel - Revenge of the Fallen - I was dumbstruck. The things that didn't work in the first film were amplified to the extreme, while the things that I found to be so great were completely abandoned. Flabbergasted, all I could do was repeat to myself "At least they gave Starscream something to do."

It's hard to know where to begin when something goes this wrong. Perhaps I should mention first the most surprising thing: the action is terrible. If memory serves correct, there are three big set pieces: one at the start of the film, one about an hour in, and another at the end. None are very well done, and none top the final battle in the first film. What makes these kinds of battles work is adding a human scale to it. Robots fighting robots in the desert gives you no sense of scale or feeling of impending danger. A lot of people are complaining that you can't tell the robots apart, so there is no investment in them when they fight. I disagree. There is no investment because 90% of the robots fighting are ones we've never seen before, they never speak, and they are never given a name. Who are they? I have no clue. I wanted to care, I really did, but Michael Bay had no investment in these characters, so it became impossible for me to. But at least they gave Starscream something to do.

The characters in the first film weren't great, but they were serviceable. Here they have all been reduced to comedic sidekicks. No exaggeration - all of them. We have the wacky roommate (1), the wacky parents (2,3), the wacky washed up federal agent (4), the wacky pet robot that humps peoples' legs (5), the wacky college professor (6), and the wacky illiterate twin robots (7,8). What a breath of fresh air it was then to have Tyrese show up and not not be wacky at all, but instead wisecracking. Michael Bay knows a film's limits: 8 wacky characters is great, but 9? That might have been pushing it. I honestly couldn't tell you why Sam's roommate stays in the film for as long as he does. About halfway into the film I found myself saying "we have other sources of comedic relief, why are you still here?" Shia LaBeouf, who was really pretty charming in the first one, is absurdly bad here as Sam. Granted, he has to act like he is losing his mind, and that is rarely a graceful thing to perform, but he is especially bad at it. Megan Fox, by virtue of the fact that she can't act, comes off the best in this film. Megan Fox should never, ever be the best actor in a film. But at least they gave Starscream something to do.

Let's jump back to those illiterate twins for a moment, shall we? If you go back to my Transformers review in July 2007, I called that film out for some potentially racist moments. This film blows that one out of the water. Mudflaps and Skids are two illiterate, slang spewing, rambunctious robots with droopy faces and big ears (one even has a gold tooth). Much humor is derived from their ignorant pratfalls. Hey, they don't know any better, how funny! If you hear one thing about this movie, it will certainly be about these two. It is an unfortunate fact that something so regressive could exist in a film that will surely be so huge. Some of those involved with the film have made the argument that the Transformers learn our language through the internet, movies, and TV, and that these two could be seen as a reflection of our own society. So maybe Mudflaps and Skids have just been watching too many Michael Bay movies! But at least they gave Starscream something to do.

I think the thing I hate the most about the majority of sequels is this assumption of familiarity. In the first film there is a sense of discovery as we learn about the characters, what the implications of the story are, and what kind of world they live in. Sequels, like this one, assume that we don't care about that sense of discovery anymore and just throw us into the film. Sometimes it works (The Bourne movies), but usually it doesn't. The plot here is absolutely ridiculous, and really, it wasn't the plot in the first one I liked, either. It was fun to see how people reacted to giant robots, as well as how the robots reacted to us. It was exciting to see the Transformers actually transform from time to time. Here they just remain in robot form the entire time, unless they are moving from one location to another. Remember that great scene in the first where Starscream blends in with the other jets, then suddenly transforms, shoots a few, then turns back into a jet so no one can tell which one is him? Yeah, none of that here. It's just wall to wall mindless noises, bad jokes, and an incoherent plot for two and a half hours. But at least they gave Starscream something to do.

And since we're on the subject, how about Starscream, my one hope for salvation in the film? Well, for starters, he is nothing like the Starscream I love. Gone is his nefarious machinations to overthrow Megatron and rule the Decepticons. Instead, he has been turned into a beaten dog, always abused by Megatron for no good reason. He has no personality, except to grovel at appropriate times. When Bay needs a Decepticon to do something for the plot, it is usually Starscream who does it. That's nice in theory, but often it amounts to no more than following Sam or firing upon enemies. Sure, he's physically in the film a lot more and has actual lines, but he's really not doing anything of interest or consequence. But at least they gave Starscream... well, no I guess they kind of didn't even do that.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Growing up, the other kids always seemed to hold the Star Wars trilogy up as the greatest series film had produced. For whatever reason, I never really jumped on that bandwagon - I was always more of an Indy and Back to the Future kid. And while the idea of another BttF film makes my blood run cold, the prospect of a new Indiana Jones adventure always seemed like a reasonable idea, in theory. It's a series that almost certainly should be left in the 80's, but it could probably survive in the modern climate under the correct supervision. The series had already hit a major speed bump with Temple of Doom, so it seemed unlikely that a new film could tarnish the series in the way Phantom Menace did to Star Wars. While Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has a fair share of flaws, it is by no means a franchise killer, and quite often it is a lot of fun. And really, that's what you want from an Indiana Jones movie.

I think the biggest problem this film has is that it lacks that iconic feeling that the previous three had (yes, even ToD). The other films are ripe with moments, music, and characters that are all cornerstones of film history at this point. None of that exists here. The action scenes are all a little "been there, done that," the characters are a mix of familiar faces and uninspired new ones, and the music is completely forgettable. But when your biggest fault is a failure to feel iconic, you have little to worry about. Like I said, this is FUN. Perhaps it's because I was never able to see the original trilogy on the big screen, but seeing an Indy film in the theater for the first time gave me a big, giddy smile for most of the film. Even if Indy was dealing with fairly generic action set pieces, it was still exciting to see how he was going to deal with them.

Harrison Ford hasn't lost any of his old charm here, nor does he seem too afraid to be physical. Sure, he runs a little slower and he has to rely on other people to help him out occasionally, but overall this is still the same Indy we remember, just a little older and a little wiser. As you may have heard, Karen Allen returns here as Marion Ravenwood, and it is the scenes between the two of them that really rise above the rest of the film. When the two meet for the first time in years, the reaction Harrison portrays is wonderful. These two characters were made for each other, and it's nice to know that Spielberg and company agree. Allen may no longer look like a typical Hollywood beauty, but she has more feist and personality in her than someone like Jessica Alba or Megan Fox ever will. If anything, it would have been nice to see more of her here.

The new players are where the film starts to fall flat. Ray Winstone plays a dodgy partner to Indy, and if you've seen The Mummy, it becomes clear that he is a complete carbon copy of the character Beni in that film, even down to his final scene being identical. Cate Blanchett is surprisingly bland as the villainess, perhaps because she keeps disappearing for large chunks of the film. Her motives are never completely clear, nor is she ever really defined. The biggest question mark has always been Shia LaBeouf. It's been stated that George Lucas wants to hand this franchise over to Shia, but truthfully he doesn't seem like he'd be up for it. It's not that he does a bad job, just that the character isn't very interesting. The 50's teen rebel seems a little cliched and dull, and it just doesn't fit well within the Indiana Jones universe.

Spilling the story details is kind of unnecessary. Indy goes looking for some sort of artifact, with the villains in pursuit. You either know what to expect from these films, or you haven't been paying attention. The devil, however, is in the details. I liked the way they referenced the fact that Indy hasn't just been dormant for twenty years. In the 40's he went to fight in WWII (now there's an interesting - if atypical - film to imagine, Indy at War), some of his friends and family have passed away, and he's been involved in government projects from time to time. To say this is a contemplative film wouldn't be entirely accurate, but it is certainly aware that Indiana has aged and seen the world, and that his adventures over the years have affected him. It could have been just another entry in the franchise with no thought towards growth for the character, but it wasn't. The first film worked so well because it was a fresh idea. Temple of Doom fell flat because it didn't try to do much of anything beyond recapturing the spirit of the first one. Last Crusade was a high point because it added the father-son element into it, making it more than just a copy of Raiders. This one again tries to infuse something into the action: a sense of nostalgia within Indy, as well as a son figure for him in Shia's character.

While at times pretty silly (the refrigerator scene, for example), it is still well above any other adventure film out there right now. Will it be something I return to again and again over the years as I have with the others? I'm not sure, but I suspect I won't. I enjoyed it right now, and that's really all you can expect from any movie. It's a shame it feels necessary to hold it up to the three previous films, but that's just the way it goes when you follow something so iconic. However time looks back upon this fourth Indiana Jones film, it was great to have such a wonderful character back on the screens for two hours.

A Look Back at 2007: The Breakout Stars

I wanted to give out an award for the actor who had the best year in 2007, but in trying to narrow it down to one I realized it was nigh impossible. Too many people had too great of a year. So I decided instead to focus on the five actors who had the biggest breakout this year. These are people who were either largely unknown or generally disregarded before 2007 rolled around. Thanks to their work this year, each is now a household name, and we can certainly expect a lot from each in the coming years. In alphabetical order:

Casey Affleck

The films: Ocean's Thirteen, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Gone Baby Gone

The less famous Affleck finally became the bigger of the two in 2007. Casey has largely been on the fringes of film, most notable for his supporting role in the Ocean's trilogy. He started his year off as the best part of Ocean's Thirteen before heading into serious fare with Assassination and Gone Baby Gone. These films demonstrated that he could hold a film on his own. No longer hidden in his brother Ben's shadow, he seems to be on his way to getting an Oscar nomination this year for his portrayal of Robert Ford.

Coming Next: Not yet announced.


Josh Brolin

The films: Grindhouse, In the Valley of Elah, American Gangster, No Country for Old Men

The former Goonie has been languishing for years in middling fare like Hollow Man and Into the Blue. But somehow he completely reinvented his image in 2007 with four major films. He has excelled this year at playing the creepy guy, be it as a villain (Grindhouse, American Gangster), or as the hero (No Country for Old Men). I can see his career taking on a similar trajectory to that of another former child star, Christian Bale. Bale seemed to be gravitating to these sorts of roles a few years back before he hit it big with Batman Begins. So long as he doesn't waste all this new found attention, he could be huge.

Coming Next: Milk, the true story of the murder of San Fran politician Harvey Milk. He plays the murderer.


Michael Cera

The films: Superbad, Juno

No actor's breakout this year makes me happier than Michael Cera. To those who knew him from Arrested Development, it felt like we had this little secret we wanted to share with the world. Well now the secret is out, and Cera seems poised to be the next big comedic actor. Impressive for a 19 year old. I realized just how much of a chord he'd struck with audiences after Superbad hit when I saw the Juno trailer for the first time. When asked who fathered her child, Juno says "Paulie Bleeker" and the trailer cuts to Cera's mug. The whole audience burst into laughter. To elicit that kind of laughter in a trailer by simply being on the screen for a split second is huge, especially for someone still so new to film. If he does prove to be a bankable comedic star, perhaps they'll finally be able to convince Fox that an Arrested Development film is viable.

Coming Next: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Emile Hirsch

The Films: Alpha Dog, Into the Wild

Hirsch is a guy I just never expected much from, career-wise. I figured he'd languish in teen exploitation films like The Girl Next Door or Alpha Dog before disappearing. But with Into the Wild he popped in a big way. Suddenly he is gaining respect as one of the best new actors of his generation. Oscar glory seems to be in the cards as well if all goes well next January. How did this happen? Well, Sean Penn certainly deserves some credit, as he was the one who discovered that Hirsch could do something big given the chance. The best comparison I can think of is Leonardo DiCaprio, who also didn't seem to get much respect as a young actor and had to work that much harder at gaining the respect he deserved. I honestly hope people continue to doubt Hirch in the future, because that kind of doubt will only push him to try more and more challenging work, something that has proved to elevate DiCaprio above the peers he was once seen as inferior to.

Coming Next: The ultra trippy looking Speed Racer.


Shia LaBeouf

The Films: Disturbia, Surf's Up, Transformers

Every decade seems to have one or two big stars. There was Jack Nicholson in the 70's, Harrison Ford in the 80's, Tom Cruise and Hanks in the 90's, and Johnny Depp and Will Smith now. Come next decade, we will be talking about Shia LaBeouf in that same manner - assuming he doesn't achieve that status in the next two years, which is entirely possible. Before you accuse me of being some Shia fanboy, a little history: I had almost no idea who he was before this year, and I wouldn't consider any of his movies this year to be among the year's best. But there is no denying that he has that star quality that so few seem to have. He was able to make the otherwise mediocre Disturbia fun, and his work in Transformers made me believe in giant transforming robots more than any special effects ever could. He has such charm and charisma that I get sucked into his films inspite of whatever misgivings I might otherwise have. It also helps that he has Spielberg in his corner. So long as his life doesn't fall apart like so many other former child actors' do, he's already on his way to superstardom.

Coming Next: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Seriously, do you really want to bet against this kid?